BaybeShell
01-15-2008, 12:16 AM
I got this in email today:
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend by the name of Common Sense.
Common Sense lived a long life, but died in the United States from heart
failure in the early part of the new millennium. No one really knows how
old he was, since his birth records were lost long ago in bureaucratic red
tape. He selflessly devoted his life to service in schools, hospitals,
homes, factories, and helping folks get jobs done without fanfare and
foolishness. For decades, petty rules, silly laws, and frivolous lawsuits
had no power over Common Sense.
He was credited with cultivating such valued lessons as to know when to
come out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, and that life
isn't always fair.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more
that you earn), reliable parenting strategies (the adults are in charge,
not the kids), and it's okay to come in second place.
A veteran of the industrial revolution, the Great Depression, and the
Technical Revolution, Common Sense survived cultural and educational
trends including body piercing, whole language, and "new math". But his
health declined when he became infected with the "If it only helps one
person, it's worth it" virus (a.k.a "Look out for Number #1" disease).
In recent decades his waning strength proved no match for the ravages of
well intentioned, but overbearing, regulations.
He watched in pain as good people became ruled by self-seeking lawyers.
His health rapidly deteriorated when schools endlessly implemented
zero-tolerance policies. Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with
sexual harassment for kissing a classmate, a teen suspended for taking a
swig of mouthwash after lunch, and a teacher fired for reprimanding an
unruly student only worsened his condition. It declined even further when
schools had to get parental consent to administer aspirin to a student but
could not inform the parents when a female student was pregnant or wanted
an abortion.
Finally, Common Sense lost his will to live as the Ten Commandments became
contraband, churches became businesses, criminals received better treatment
than their victims, and Federal Judges stuck their noses in everything
from the Boy Scouts to professional sports to the Pledge of Allegiance.
Finally, when a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was
hot and was awarded a huge settlement, Common Sense threw in the towel.
As the end neared, Common Sense drifted in and out of logic but was kept
informed of developments regarding questionable regulations, such as those
for the low flow of toilets, rocking chairs, and step ladders.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; His
wife, Discretion; His daughter, Responsibility, and his son, Reason.
He is survived by two step-brothers: My Rights and Ima Whiner.
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend by the name of Common Sense.
Common Sense lived a long life, but died in the United States from heart
failure in the early part of the new millennium. No one really knows how
old he was, since his birth records were lost long ago in bureaucratic red
tape. He selflessly devoted his life to service in schools, hospitals,
homes, factories, and helping folks get jobs done without fanfare and
foolishness. For decades, petty rules, silly laws, and frivolous lawsuits
had no power over Common Sense.
He was credited with cultivating such valued lessons as to know when to
come out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, and that life
isn't always fair.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more
that you earn), reliable parenting strategies (the adults are in charge,
not the kids), and it's okay to come in second place.
A veteran of the industrial revolution, the Great Depression, and the
Technical Revolution, Common Sense survived cultural and educational
trends including body piercing, whole language, and "new math". But his
health declined when he became infected with the "If it only helps one
person, it's worth it" virus (a.k.a "Look out for Number #1" disease).
In recent decades his waning strength proved no match for the ravages of
well intentioned, but overbearing, regulations.
He watched in pain as good people became ruled by self-seeking lawyers.
His health rapidly deteriorated when schools endlessly implemented
zero-tolerance policies. Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with
sexual harassment for kissing a classmate, a teen suspended for taking a
swig of mouthwash after lunch, and a teacher fired for reprimanding an
unruly student only worsened his condition. It declined even further when
schools had to get parental consent to administer aspirin to a student but
could not inform the parents when a female student was pregnant or wanted
an abortion.
Finally, Common Sense lost his will to live as the Ten Commandments became
contraband, churches became businesses, criminals received better treatment
than their victims, and Federal Judges stuck their noses in everything
from the Boy Scouts to professional sports to the Pledge of Allegiance.
Finally, when a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was
hot and was awarded a huge settlement, Common Sense threw in the towel.
As the end neared, Common Sense drifted in and out of logic but was kept
informed of developments regarding questionable regulations, such as those
for the low flow of toilets, rocking chairs, and step ladders.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; His
wife, Discretion; His daughter, Responsibility, and his son, Reason.
He is survived by two step-brothers: My Rights and Ima Whiner.
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.